Humor?

hello, and thank you for choosing karl briedrick and I to
dj at your party/event/festival/after party.
our requirements:
(2) roundtrip first-class tickets on a domestic US carrier
(for events in the continental United States), preferably
one not in the death throes of bankruptcy.
For all other cases, we prefer a star alliance affiliated
airline for global travel.
In descending order of preference:
Singapore Airlines
ANA
SAS
Lufthansa
UAL
So on and so forth.
We've also heard through the grapevine that the new
bathrooms on British Airways are fabulous. Mahogany
accents/ windows, and so forth. Because of this, BA is
a perfectly acceptable carrier.
(2) nights lodging in a suitable hotel, preferably one
designed by phillipe stark, or an appropriately
highbrow scandanavian designer.
(2) bottles of veuve clicqot, chilled. no exceptions,
especially for cristal.
(4) gram(s) cocaine
1/4 oz cannibus sativa (preferably named white widow
or another suitably clever/fri
ghtening name)
(2) 14 year old estonian models. Latvians will do, the
entire Baltic region for that matter.
(2) bottles of Matoni spring water from the czech
republic
(1) packet of M&Ms, with the greens removed. Karl
doesn't like green.
other requirements-
under no circumstances may the hilton sisters, the bush
sisters or badly drawn boy be allowed on the guest list.
this is for your safety as well as ours.
however, chloë sevigny is more than welcome,
provided she is not accompanied by vincent gallo, or
any other brooding musician or filmmaker for that matter.
thank you!